People have been asking about my dad.  This last weekend, a family situation came up that forced me to make a tough decision.  Which turned out to be the right decision.  Here’s the story.

In this episode, I discuss

  • The Power of Why
  • Update on my dad
  • The family reunion

Transcript:

Good morning everyone. Welcome to the path to 1 million. This is going to be episode 170. I’ve gotten a couple of notes, a couple emails from people every now and then. People will ask me when we’re trending on the phone, what the situation with my dad is. So I just wanted to just wanted to talk about that. And of course, when you know there’s a onset of dementia or onset of Alzheimer’s it’s just a gradual decline, downhill. He’s still doing fine as long as he’s home and he’s in his environment. He’s actually quite happy. The good news is, is that my dad’s kids are up from Georgia and they’ve been helping out with dad and mom around the house making like little repairs or you know, his daughter has been doing a lot of cooking, which has helped mom out a lot around there.

So at least I know that they’re eating more than rice for dinner, which is always a good thing. But that was just something that you know, as we go by and I’m always asking how dad is doing and stuff and, you know, mom is you know, mom’s keeping a stiff upper lip about the whole thing and stuff, which is good. She’s kind of like become the de facto leader of the family. Of course, I can’t imagine my, I can’t imagine my mom not being the leader of the family, but, you know, she’s the one that’s making all the decisions. And speaking of decisions something came up this last weekend that I wanted to chat about. Obviously, as I said before, my mom is like super excited that I’m moving back to Michigan. Every time I talked to her on the phone, she is just absolutely astatic.

She’s like, Oh, it’s going to be so nice that you’re here and I’m going to feel so much better and stuff. And I’m like, you know, it’s, it’s great. And I’m glad that they’re excited. And she made a comment to me this last weekend that she was like all excited that they would, that, you know, we could spend Thanksgiving together. And when she made that comment to me, it didn’t register right away, but I started thinking about it over the weekend. And yesterday I made a decision and what I wanted to talk about here was making these tough decisions. The thing is, is that, you know, like I said before, my dad’s kids are up visiting from Georgia. They’re helping him and taking care of mom and dad. And my dad also has a daughter who lives in the Chicago area.

And before in the past they would periodically take trips over to Chicago and spend time with the sister who lives in Chicago. So, you know, one of the things that I thought about was the fact that, well, if it’s Thanksgiving and if my dad’s kids are here, then they should go to Chicago. And of course this means that if I tell mom that, then we won’t be spending Thanksgiving together. So, you know, one of the things I had to think about was, you know, how am I gonna approach this? You know, how am I gonna think about this? Because, you know, the thing is, is that when it comes to making these kinds of decisions, whether it’s, you know, a tough decision or actually any kind of decision whatsoever, sometimes I have to revert back to my why and the why is the big thing.

You know, and my, my thing that I’ve said, whenever I’ve done these Facebook lives or I’ve done any of my writing or postings on Facebook or on LinkedIn has always been, you know, being able to define that why and why. And while I may not be able to articulate it using words, I do always have it in the back of my head. And my goal has always been to, to inspire people, you know, and live through example and to, you know, have them go beyond, you know, what it is that they think they can do or to inspire them to be better in their mind, body, business, relationships or spiritual path. That’s always been my focus. And it occurred to me that when I was thinking about this, I said, do you know what Cliff, in the grand scheme of things, it is more important for them to all be together on Thanksgiving then it is for mom to stay in Michigan and have Thanksgiving with you because I’m moving there permanently.

Right? So if you know, or if you’ve read the, the book on Persuasion, one of the techniques that you can use to persuade people to do something is this whole philosophy of scarcity. Which is a very powerful technique to get people to move in, to take action. But at the same point in time, the scarcity doesn’t apply to me because I’ll be there permanently. So what I did is I said, you know what, I saw that I could get, I got to get mom to think about this and a different way. Cause she really is excited that I’m coming back to Michigan, but with dad in his condition, we don’t know what’s going to be happening like a year from now. Right. You really don’t. And while he is still some presence of mind, there needs to be some consideration for him and his family because my dad will do whatever my mom says.

If my mom says I want to stay here and have Thanksgiving with Cliff, my dad will do that. He won’t complain. He won’t say anything about it. So you know, at the same point in time I was like, you know what, I have to push mom this way. So you know I called mom up and I said, look, I said I’d be happy to spend Thanksgiving with you guys. I really would be. But I think the bigger consideration here is that if, if dad’s kids are up visiting and if they’re going to be there throughout Thanksgiving, then you guys really should take a couple days and drive to Chicago and spend it. You know all of you get together with dad’s other daughter so that they can be together for family at least one more time. Cause we don’t know what’s going to happen next year. And I’ll admit that I used the scarcity principle on her, but I could, I could just hear through the phone, the gears grinding in her head because now she is thinking this out and she wasn’t sad and she wasn’t depressed and she didn’t like try to fight or argue with me.

She actually said, you know, you’re right. So, you know, I’m hoping that they, that they do that, I’m hoping that they continued to move forward. I know that I myself feel a lot better. What I love to spend Thanksgiving with my parents of course who wouldn’t? But at the same point in time, I know that if I didn’t say something and if I didn’t take action number one, I wouldn’t be true to why, which is like inspiring people to be better. And I have to acknowledge the fact that, you know, my dad with being together with his kids, that’s important. That’s a big deal. And that would be a big deal to him. So to not acknowledge that to me anyways, runs counter to my why and I can’t have that. And because, because it would run counter to my why. I can guarantee you that at the end of Thanksgiving day I would feel so guilty because if there’s one thing I’m really familiar with and I, it sounds really crappy to say this, but I’ve lost a parent and I know exactly what that feels like. So for him to have that opportunity with his kids, for them to be able to create one more memory, you know, be able to take photos, be able to sit around the table together and laugh and remember this Thanksgiving time and had just had that time together,

Then I need to do everything I can to make that happen. You know? I really do. Mom and dad will be back into the area. I reminded mom that, you know, Christmas is coming up and there’s no problem why we can’t be together for Christmas. But if you guys get this opportunity for Thanksgiving, you should take it. So whenever it comes in, boils down to making those tougher decisions that are, that have always been in my life, I’ve always had to revert back to the why. You know, why am I doing this? What is, you know, what is it that I feel? What is it that’s driving me internally? If there’s any conflict whatsoever, then I will always make the decision that’s in alignment with my why always. And for me, in this case, it just boiled down to it just boiled down to what am I going to, you know, what am I going to do?

What am I going to move forward in this, in this possibility? And then just keep keep everything that’s going on track. So I, I do know that when I called mom yesterday and I, and I said, you know, when it is, it’s weird. I don’t, I don’t talk a lot about religion or the universe or anything else so much on these live chats, but I will tell you that when I called mom yesterday it was probably about six o’clock, seven o’clock Eastern standard time. And I told her about this. She told me a story about how earlier that day she asked Arnold how much money he had in his wallet. And as he was pulling it out his daughter that lives in Chicago his daughter’s name was written on a piece of paper and a phone number and he pulled it out and he looked at it and he started to cry.

And mom put her hand on his shoulder and said, “Don’t worry, we will figure out some way to see her.” And then a couple hours later I called her up on the phone and said, you need to go to Chicago and see her. So anyways, I’m hoping that’s some kind of an alignment, some kind of signal or clue for mom to, you know, to actually take that step and to, and to make that happen. So anyways, a little side story there probably sharing a little too much anyways. I wanted to share that with you guys today and you know, give you an update on dad and what’s going on. Everything else like that, that you guys so much for stopping by. I really do appreciate it. I will be back again tomorrow with another story. I will catch you at that time. Make it a great day.