The power of “What If…”  Asking that question either focuses my attention on the negative or positive aspects of life.  So what would I rather focus on?

In this episode, I talk about:

  • Life is over at 30
  • How I met your mother
  • What if you’re wrong

Transcript:

Morning, everyone, welcome to the path to 1 million. This is going to be episode 131. So I was thinking about something the other day. I want to tell you a story. We’re going to go into the Wayback machine. So a handful of years ago I was invited to go to this birthday party celebration thing and it was to one of the bars in LA off of the sunset strip. The name of it escapes me, so I’m sorry about that. Anyways so we went out to this bar and there was two girls that were in the group. There was, I think maybe six of us total, but there was two girls in the group who both of them had turned 30 within a week of each other. And that’s the reason why we were going out. And so we went out and I, you know, I’m like, you know, I want to be the nice guy.

So I’m like, Hey, you know, I’ll just, you know, I’ll buy us the first round. So I went up to the birthday to the birthday. I’m sorry, I went up to the bartender and I said, Hey, we got these two girls celebrating a birthday. Let’s do a a round of shots of tequila. So the bartender gave us good tequila and I took the shots back. We all did a shot and I brought another round and then a third round. Anyways, moral of the story is like, what typical happens is the girls found out that because it was their birthday, they could get free shots for the night. So of course they proceeded to get absolutely obliterated. Our evening ended, I think we got to the bar at like maybe nine o’clock that night and by 11 o’clock we were leaving. These girls could like, they couldn’t even walk.

Right. So I remember like, so we, we get to the one girl’s apartment and I’m carrying her. I’m practically carrying her cause she can’t walk. She is so wasted. And I get her into her apartment and her other friend is is helping get her in there, get her to the, get into the bedroom. We literally pour this girl into the bed and as I’m getting ready to turn the one, the girl who’s drunk, the one who’s like laying in bed can’t even move. She goes, “I turned 30 and my life is over.” And I remember I stopped cause I was like maybe 35 or 36 at the time and I stopped for a second. I turned and looked at her and I w I was like processing what you just said. I turned 30 in, my life is over. And I remember, especially like in my twenties right, there was a number of people who that I would talk with who was actually constantly saying like all the time, like man, 30 years old, 30 years old, 30 years old and I was like 26 27 28 getting up there and years of people like, Oh when you turn 30 you’re not cool anymore.

And I started thinking to myself, what if that doesn’t matter? You know, I started asking myself the what if question, you know, what if life could get better? What if things could change? What if things could improve?

You know, because I remembered that when I turned around and looked at that girl and she, that to me, I had to kind of laugh and I said, you know what? My life didn’t even get interesting until I turned 30 my twenties for me were like almost like a pure, like waste of time. After I got into college and I got my job at GM, I felt like I was completely stalled. And then after GM and I moved to California, I just, for a number of years I just felt like I was completely lost. And when I turned 30 is when I said to myself, you know what? What if I start doing things because I want to do them? Not because of my resume, you know, everything that I did in life up until that point in time was because I wanted to have a more powerful resume, right?

I want to build a career and do all this other stuff. And you know what? I would come home at night and I would just sit and watch TV. And to me that was such a boring existence. So I started saying to myself, what if I started triathlete? What if I went to Paris? I always wanted to go to Paris. So what if I went to Paris? Right? What if I learned the language? What if I picked up a book and started like reading on how to improve? What if? What if? What if, and I started posing this question to myself, what if now we’re growing up, the what if question was always used by my parents, like my mom or something else like that. And, and every time that I would say, Hey, I want to go try this. I want to do this, I want to travel here.

I wanted, my mom would always come back and be like, well, what if you get lost? You know what if you break your leg, you know what if, what if, what if? And her version of what if always was fueled by fear and doubt. What if I turn 30 and life is over? What if I turn 40 in? Life is over, you know, and it, it is something that I read like later on in life in a, in a Tony Robbins book. And he actually said what you focus on becomes your reality. So every time that you asked that question, you always have that ability at the end to either make that the last part of the what if question fueled by fear and doubt or by positivity. Who knows what it could be. Cause I’ve often had people sit there and tell me, they’ll like, you know, well what if your car breaks down or you know, what if you fail or what if you’re not successful?

Or what if, what if, what if? And when I go back to them and say, well you know what if I am successful, what if this does work? What does this work is beyond my wildest dreams? And then they always laugh and they tell me the exact same thing. Well cliff, that’s because I deal with reality and you deal with fantasy. And I’m like, no, because what you focus on becomes your reality. So if you’re all the time focusing on the fact that what if I fail? What if this fails? What if this doesn’t work? Then guess what? It’s not going to work. You know, it never does. I never see anybody start a new and a new adventure. Whether it’s, you know, going on a trip or going on a vacation or starting a new business or you know, working in a nonprofit or whatever it is, then always starts out with negativity.

The people who are successful are the ones that always say, well, what if this is successful? What if this works? And if it doesn’t work, okay, so what if we changed this? Or what if we tried this? Or what if we did this? So you can use the what if question to actually change your, your perspective on life. You know, and when you change your perspective on life, then your life starts to change to follow that pursuit because all of a sudden now you’re not followed by all of this negativity that is behind you. You know, and I had the laugh ones because I learned the story later or earlier this year that I thought it was really cute. I was told the story about, you know, there was this young man who was riding on a train. This is like way back in the days, like in the late 18 or actually if in the late 19 hundreds, probably like 1890 or 1900, somewhere around there.

Anyways, young man was riding these trains across the country and of course he was living the life of a hobo. He didn’t pay for a ticket. And at some point in time, the, the guys who, and I forget their names, but there was these guys that would patrol the train and actually kicked the hobos off. He was coming, right? So this young man was like, I have to get off this train and the train is still moving. And like imagine his buddy was sitting right there and was like, well, what if you jump off and break your leg? You know what if you get hurt? But he decided to jump off anyway. So he jumps off the train and sure enough he did break his leg. Now the person who sits there and focuses on the failure would sit there and say, well look, you broke your leg. Ha, I told you that would happen. But you know, that young man with his broken leg goes to the hospital, falls in love with the nurse, the nurse falls in love with him, and that’s how my grandparents met. So if you sit there and rule your life by what if happens, you know, and you always include that negativity. Who knows? You could be missing out on the best things in life because what if the best is yet to come?

Anyways, that’s my story for today. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you all for stopping by. I really do appreciate it. I will be back again tomorrow with another story. Have a fantastic Friday. Today’s Friday, right? I’m sorry it was so busy. I can’t even keep track of the days of the week. Anyways have a great day today and I will be back again tomorrow with another story. I will see you then.