It’s the middle of the night.  From my slumber, scratching comes from my floor.  What is that?  A dead body trying to get out?  An animal?  Perhaps a Bob Cat?

In this episode, I talk about

  • The joys of home ownership
  • Indiana Cliff and the Crawl Space
  • My Master Plan

Transcript:

Hello everyone. Welcome to the path to 1 million. This is going to be episode 130. Many moons ago when I purchased my first investment property, I lived in the front house while I rented out the back house to a tenant. So I’d finished the renovations on the front house and I was living there and there was one evening one night I was dead asleep and I wake up and I hear this. It was like scratching noise, right? But it’s coming from my floor. So of course, you know, I was raised in the age of Poltergeist, so I’m thinking there’s a dead body underneath the house trying to now get out, come back to like zombies, whatever it was. So I’m a little bit freaked out in a course, you know, saner heads prevail. And it occurred to me that probably there’s some kind of an animal trapped underneath my house.

I don’t know what it is, but there’s definitely an animal underneath the house. And you know, every time that I would move, every time there was a Creek in the floorboard or something, the scratching would stop. So I laid down, I would be almost asleep and would be stone quiet. And next thing I know there’s just like scratching noise again. So I’m like, great, I gotta take care of this. So the next morning I get up and I’m heading over to work well before I head over to work. So I go into the back house and the way that my house was arranged was there was my bedroom that was there and then there was like a laundry room on the other side of the wall and the door lead outside and the house that was on the backside of the lot, they could get into the laundry room as well.

So there is a spot where you can move this board and go underneath of the house into the crawl space. It was actually a pretty tall crawl space. It was like three and a half, four foot tall for crawl spaces in California. That’s pretty big. So but you know, whatever it was, there was that board that, you know, like, like point access to it. And that board had been moved at some point. So that’s how the skunk or whatever it is got underneath of the house. So anyways, I moved that board, I get it out of the way and I take off to go to work. So I get to work and I’m there all day at work and that night I come home and I put the board back on top of the whole thinking, whatever animal is underneath the house has gone at this point.

So climbed back into the bed. Sure enough, middle of the night, here’s the scratch it again. And I’m like, great. Obviously I can’t continue to live like this. Whatever animals underneath the house, I have to make it go away. So I need to figure out, you know, what, you know, what’s going on, what animals underneath the house. So I grab an extension cord and I had purchased one of those lights from home Depot. It’s one of those like, I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s the one with the, with the long skinny light bulbs. And the thing is like 50,000 Watts. So that’s like enough, one inch to like give the sunburn, give the sun a sunburn. So I’ve got this light, I got to connect it to the extension cord and I move all the crawl space door and into the crawl space.

I go now, I’m not a big fan of crawl spaces just in general. I’ve got this thing when it comes to bugs and I know that in this crawl space I’m gonna run across, I’m going to run across spiders and lizards and bugs. Oh my. And I get underneath there and of course there’s all these like cobwebs that are hanging down there covered in dirt. It almost reminds me of a, and I know that you’ve walked through these doors before where they have like the beads hanging and you have to make your way through the beads before you can go from one room into another room. And that’s kinda like what it felt like underneath of there. And I’ve got this big old bright spotlight in front of me. I’m doing this total Indiana Jones while I’m underneath the crawl space. And of course while I’m under here, my imagination starts going wild and I envision like, you know, underneath there with the light and I turn and like Pennywise the clown pops up in front of me at, I don’t float down here, you know, and I hit him in the head with the light and I run out the door.

So you know, I’m making my way across the basement and I’m sweeping this light and there’s like all this like junk and stuff. There’s like piles of dirt that’s obscuring everything and of course whatever is trapped underneath of the house is on the far side of the house, like the furthest away from the exit to get out of there. And so that would give whatever animal, like Bobcat or whatever it is, trapped underneath my house, plenty of time to attack me and eat my leg and arm and probably my eye before I get a chance to like exit from underneath of the house. So make my way across underneath the here and as I make it to the far side of the house and I sweep the light one more time. Something bright catches my eye. It’s like a reflection almost. So my lamp goes automatically back over to it and there it is.

There’s a reason why I’m getting scratches on my floor. It is a skunk and it is a big skunk and of course now I’m thinking to myself this is great. I taken like the fact that you know skunks actually there and of course his ass is pointed right at me which means he is ready to shoot and I’m thinking to myself, well maybe this thing has got a range of about 10 feet, which knowing my luck, this is the genetically engineered skunks. So this thing’s going to probably shoot 30 feet and have the accuracy of William tell and like probably put like a stink.red on my forehead. I’m going to smell like skunk for the next six months. And my, you know, my already pathetic dating life is just going to go even further down the tubes and everybody at work is going to be like, eh, he’s not like skunk and I’ll be like, Oh yeah, you’re a rocket scientist.

So I’m like, great. In the words of Monte Python runaway, so I cannot get on the crawlspace as fast as I possibly can. You know, I’m this like, you know, six foot guy, the crawlspace was like three and a half, four foot. So I’m kind of like this lumbering, you know, spider guy, whatever it is, just trying to get out of the basement and get out of the basement, make it outta there. And I’m like, great, how am I going to get this thing out? Right? Because I have no clue. I left the door open all day. Thing did not leave. So I do what I normally do. I ask Lord Google, come to find out, skunks are nocturnal. And the second thing is is that skunks really like pet food. So I’m like, okay, great. And a, because I watched so many episodes of the team and MacGyver, I come up with this grand plan.

I go to the pet store and I get some kibbles and bits because it was on sale. So I get some kibbles and bits come back over to the house and does. Now nighttime, I go back to the little laundry room area where the where the, where the access support is for the for the crawl space. And I leave the laundry room door wide open and I take the, the boards off. So whatever the skunk can get out, I put a little pile of kibble and bits there by the by the entrance, just in case the skunk forgot which way was out. So I put a pilot kibble of bits right there, and then I leave a trail going out to the door. Meanwhile, I’m humming the theme to the team. Done, didn’t then, then, sorry, ready? Put the trail out the door, get it out there, go into the house.

I shut off all the lights just in case any lights can actually get through the floorboards, which I highly doubt, but turn off all the lights and I put a chair by the back window and from the back window I can see not only the laundry room, but also into the little back area that separates the front house from the back house. Get a chair and I wait and wait and I wait and I wait and I try not to move. I don’t want to make any noise because every time I make a noise, the skunks gonna freeze. And I figure he’s been underneath that house now for like three or four days. He’s probably pretty hungry. Hopefully he’ll go for the pet food right away. But still I continue. I just sit and I wait and wait and I wait and at some point in time or start falling asleep, I’m like, this isn’t gonna work for me.

I can’t sit here in this chair. So I’m like, you know what? Hafta trust the fates that this is gonna work. So I crawl over to my bed, I get inside of there, lay down, I’m almost asleep. And all of a sudden this light turns on from the back of my bedroom and it’s the tenant. She is coming outside to walk her dog. And I’m thinking to myself, man, I hope that’s conk isn’t out there in the yard right now because her or her dog will probably get sprayed. Then I pass out and to sleep. I didn’t hear any scratching that night. Fortunately I got up in the morning and the kibble and bits were all gone. So that was like, it was proof of either one to two things. Either the skunk made it out from underneath the house or another skunk made it down underneath of the house.

So I’m like, great. So either tonight I’m gonna have a a spray pissing contest going on underneath my house, or he has fled the scene and I was, fingers crossed that he fled the scene. I put the wood back in place to cover up the crawl space, attic or crawl space, attic access, excuse me. But the boards back in place. Sure enough that night, no scratching, slept like a baby. So I appreciate the fact all the time that people sit there and say, Oh, you need to take decisive action. Do you need to take decisive action? But really sometimes the best thing you can do is just sit and wait. Anyway, just wanted to share that story with you guys today. I hope you guys are having any phenomenal Thursday and hope everything is going really well. Things are going extremely well here. Very happy about that. Anyways, I will talk to you guys again tomorrow with another story. I will see you then.